Why Successful Women Struggle in Love and 2 Tips to Change all that

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Maybe you are a successful career woman who knows her way around the professional world. You are comfortable running a business, leading large groups or employees, and engaging with top notch businessmen and women. In essence, you have your business mastered and you rock it! But…maybe, like so many successful women, you have NOT mastered your love life. Even though you deeply desire that extraordinary love, you find yourself with a string of failed relationships. Are you in the endless cycle of love, then break-up, and then repeat?

You are certainly not alone—but there really are actual reasons why you are struggling, and ways that you can make a huge love-shift.

To reach that level of success in the world of business, whether as a corporate employee or entrepreneur, women typically need to up their masculine side in order to compete, be respected, and hold their own in what was once a male-dominated arena. We each (men and women) have some level of masculine and feminine energies which are equivalent to the yin (feminine) and yang (masculine). Below is an abbreviated list of the different qualities of each energy type.


Masculine     vs.     Feminine













While in the business world, masculine energy serves us well; it is typically not the case in our personal love lives. Men are usually attracted to feminine energy, which offers a soft, nurturing side, and creates a harmonious balance. 

So—here’s Tip #1 and it is about what we as women should demonstrate because it is what men need:

Cultivate and expand your feminine energy.  In your love relationship, bring out your softer side, instead of being the kick-ass leader that you are in business.  Many of us feel that being soft and feminine is showing weakness, but it truly is just the opposite. It is about embracing your finesse, your grace, and your feminine beauty inside and out.  If you are truly comfortable in your own skin, you will not feel the need to be combative or overtly powerful with your mate.

Now let’s talk about tip #2 which is about what we as successful women need:

The biggest myth, which most successful women live by, is that a strong, successful, and driven woman needs a slightly weaker man so that the relationship is not competitive and the woman still feels like she can achieve the dreams, goals, and business success she wants and needs.

No, no, no!

For years I was one of those women.  I had a successful career (in architecture), I was an entrepreneur, and I was driven by some deeply passionate goals.  And ALL of my love relationships were with men that were not as strong, not as solid; in essence, their masculine energy didn’t match up to mine.  And what I found out again and again, after my string of failed relationships, was that weaker men are attracted to strong women, because they want the nurturing, validation, and care similar to that of a mother figure. Not only does that not enhance the intimacy in the bedroom, but the bigger problem is that for a woman, it becomes difficult to look up to her man, feel his bold strength, and hold deep respect for him.  And, truth be told, no matter that many now want to be in a gender neutral society, it is in our very nature as women to yearn for the man that will protect and hold us, so that we can trust, be vulnerable, be feminine, be soft and tender, and“let go.”  That is not weak…if anything it is incredibly brave.

After about a decade of wrong-for-me men, I learned the truth. Strong and successful women need a more masculine man.  He needs to be well-rooted in his strength and confidence. He is NOT intimated by or competitive with our success.  He is honorable and has metaphorically big shoulders upon which we can lean. And in turn, to balance his heightened masculinity, strong women like us can crank up our femininity, our soft side, and our gentle, sexy qualities.

 Stay true to who you are. Be your bad-ass self in business. But don’t forget to embrace in your love life , the beautiful and attractive femininity and finesse you embody.


Until next time... with inspiration,
Karen Otis


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